Last week was a disappointing week. In terms of my favourite week, I have to say, it was probably Greek week, with Spanish Week a close second. In case you're wondering, I am referring to Lidl and their 'speciality of the week' weeks. Last week it was Lidl Fashion Week. Amid much excitement and anticipation at Lidl headquarters I would imagine, Heidi Klum, German supermodel, launched her Lidl Clothing Collection. It was very disappointing and worse. I know, I know, what did I expect, you may ask. In truth, I don't know. But I do know I didn't like it. Worse still, when I breezily flicked through the brochure advertising Heidi's wares I was particularly struck by the skinny jeans that three Heidi's were proudly modelling (flawlessly, I might add, photo-shopped together, giving the impression that there were in fact three identical Heidi sisters, if one wasn't bad enough we got three. Three for the price of one perhaps?). Then I glanced across the page at the details of said skinny jeans. While the price was more than reasonable, it occurred to me that never in my life will I look like Heidi Klum if I buy her jeans. Even if I bought the size ten. At five feet four inches on a good day, buying these jeans will not make me any taller. Or skinnier for that matter. I am not being negative, I am simply a realist.
Then I noticed that these skinny jeans go all the way up to size eighteen.
Surely I don't have to spell it out.
Oh alright then, I will. If you wear a size eighteen you will not look like Heidi Klum. Unless you are also eighteen feet tall.
If someone was able and clever enough to photo-shop three Heidi's standing side by side, then wouldn't it have been a good idea for them to put all three together and just make one big Heidi modelling the size eighteen?
At least it would have been honest. And we would have all known what to expect when we got home. What could be more disappointing than thinking you are going to look like Heidi Klum in your new Lidl skinny jeans, only to get them home, try them on and make the very shocking discovery that in fact, you are still a size eighteen, you don't look like a supermodel and you've just wasted £14.99.
If I want to feel disappointment on this scale I only have to think of the results of the EU referendum. Or the day Theresa May became the Prime Minister.
I don't want to think of skinny jeans.
Sorry Lidl, in future stick to Greek week.
And Spanish week.
Adios and Kalimera!
Then I noticed that these skinny jeans go all the way up to size eighteen.
Surely I don't have to spell it out.
Oh alright then, I will. If you wear a size eighteen you will not look like Heidi Klum. Unless you are also eighteen feet tall.
If someone was able and clever enough to photo-shop three Heidi's standing side by side, then wouldn't it have been a good idea for them to put all three together and just make one big Heidi modelling the size eighteen?
At least it would have been honest. And we would have all known what to expect when we got home. What could be more disappointing than thinking you are going to look like Heidi Klum in your new Lidl skinny jeans, only to get them home, try them on and make the very shocking discovery that in fact, you are still a size eighteen, you don't look like a supermodel and you've just wasted £14.99.
If I want to feel disappointment on this scale I only have to think of the results of the EU referendum. Or the day Theresa May became the Prime Minister.
I don't want to think of skinny jeans.
Sorry Lidl, in future stick to Greek week.
And Spanish week.
Adios and Kalimera!
2 comments:
Haha - the concept of size 18 'skinny' jeans has alway perplexed met too!
Mystery solved, I hope!! :)
Post a Comment