Diary of A Desperate Mother of A Teenage Son

Yes, I have adopted a new title this week. Sounds a little over the top? A bit dramatic? Perhaps. And yet true. So true ..... I just don't understand how my lovely, sweet and caring little boy has turned into a glaring, moody, overly sensitive, snotty, rude, obnoxious teenager overnight. Did I blink and miss something? Certainly there was nothing about this developmental stage in the "What to expect when you're expecting" book. I'm sure I would have remembered if there was. No, this stage was definitely not mentioned in any books I read. So what do I do? As a jewish mother my natural instinct is to feed him. And perhaps this will show him that in spite of his hormonal mood swings and muttering complaints that I am 'the bitch-mother from hell for not letting him spend 6 hours a day flitting between Play Station and MSN', that I still love him and know that deep down, buried beneath the raging hormones and witch hazel spot treatement, is that lovely, sweet and caring man/boy who is yet to emerge, like the butterfly who emerges from its chrysalis, no longer the repugnant, hairy caterpillar .... but something magnificent and magical (who makes it's own bed, smiles without being told to and doesn't leave rotting bananas in it's school bag with any luck)

Diary of A Norfolk Broad (or Chow Mein and Chappatis)

Inspired by "Julie and Julia", the new film in which Julie Powell sets herself the challenge to cook all 524 recipes from the French cookery book by Julia Child in just one year, I have decided to go one step further.
Whilst perusing my chinese takeaway menu last night, I was thrilled to discover that including the chef's specials, there are 169 dishes. However, add the 260 on the indian takeaway menu which do not include the recommended Chef's special set meals, nor the lamb tikka passanda which I found very disappointing, but does allow for the sundries, and my goodness, we are up to 429!
Therefore, it would be possible to have one takeaway dish per day for an entire year, plus 64 to spare unless its a Leap Year, which is good, because, let's face it, a dish of crispy seaweed (which technically isn't seaweed at all but deep-fried shredded cabbage) is not going to make a very substantial meal at all. So with those 64 spare dishes to choose from to supplement numbers 1-17 in the appetisers section particularly (I do hope you are still following, or have you given up the will to live yet?) I should be alright. Phew.
You can see where all this is going, can't you? Absolutely - right on my already ample buttocks. Now, I wonder who's going to want to make a film about that?......